When women earn more than their partner

There are often reports in the newspapers about pay parity and that men earn more than women.  I’m never sure whether they actually mean that if a man and a woman are sitting side by side doing the same job the man gets paid more.  Or if they mean that statistically over their careers a man will earn more money than a women.  If it is the latter then surely the figures are skewed by the time women take out of the work force to raise children and subsequent part-time jobs they may take.

I have met many women who have and always have earned more money than their husbands or partners.  Sometimes significantly more money.  It is not so long ago that the social norm was that the man was the provider and the woman was the home keeper.  So how do couples deal with this in a way which does not make either partner feel uncomfortable or inadequate in their contribution to the household?

Personally my husband has always been fine with it and has been happy for me to contribute as much money as I can earn to our household.  In fact he has always been more comfortable than I have been with this.  I was brought up in a family where the women had babies and the men went to work to provide for them.  I felt that this was what was expected of me.  I also struggled with how I could take time out of the workforce to have a family when we relied so heavily on my earnings.  Because I actually wanted to be the care giver.  I didn’t want to hand this role over to my husband even though it would have made sense to do so.

Financially the way we have made it work is by firstly having common goals for what we want to achieve together so we are focussed together on this.  Secondly we have always combined our income and paid our expenses from this so that we never had a your money/my money scenario. However you deal with it I think it is important to find a way of handling this which you are both comfortable with and which makes you both feel like you are contributing equally to the relationship.

Next Post
Leave a comment


  1. Until recently, this has been the situation in our house, with me earning more than my husband. We have always had a combined account and moreover have pretty much shared the responsibility on most things, not just the financials. We both have a sense that financial contribution is no less or more important than any other contribution to what is after all a collective enterprise.

  2. I totally agree. I think it is important to play to your strengths and contribute in the areas you are best at regardless of traditional gender based roles. I’m happy to leave the cooking to my husband because he is much better at that than me and he is relieved that I take care of paying the bills. But like you the decisions are shared.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: