When is a relationship too comfortable?

We all know that relationships pass through many stages. That first stage where everything is so exciting and lusty, it’s where you are blind to each others faults and want to spend every second of the day in each others company. This is definitely the most fun stage, but sadly the most short-lived.

Then things settle down a bit, and thank god you can stop sucking your stomach in continually and actually relax a little. You start to let out the real you, little by little, testing the waters with each new bit you reveal. If your partner does not run screaming from you because he caught you without makeup on, you know you are in with a chance of long-term. You still have some excitement at this stage but the lusty thing has backed off slightly and the idea of having the perfect partner has had a bit of a reality check, but things are still on the great side of the equation.

Then, especially if you are living together, the little things start to niggle, you get tired and cranky often enough not to be able to hide it anymore. If you really want to make it last you have to start putting in some hard work at this stage, so the excitement pales, the lust can slow to a trickle and then you can slip into that comfortable stage.

I often wonder, is getting comfortable a good thing or a bad thing? Being comfortable with each other is the excuse we use to burp and fart in front of each other, but is this conducive to maintaining the romance. I love my husband dearly but do I want to see him scratch his balls? When does being comfortable cross the line? Should we keep some of our bodily habits and such to ourselves to help retain a bit of allure and fascination, or is this just too much hard work?

I worked with a lady who used to brag about being so comfortable with her husband that they used the time he spent sitting on the toilet doing his ‘daily business’ to discuss all sorts of other daily business. She felt she had a captive audience and may as well take advantage of it I guess. This screams of being way too comfortable for my liking.

My wise old grandmother used to say, live by the 3:1 ratio, as long as for every fault you notice you can find 3 positive points the relationship is still strong. Does getting comfortable with each other threaten this ratio with the risk of unveiling too many things that can annoy, or does it improve the chances of the ratio remaining strong?

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  1. I’m reaching the stage where we argue over anything. Not good, not good at all.

  2. I’m sorry to hear that LexoKat. How long have you been together?


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